Filed under: Inspiration, Thoughts and Observations, Weighing In | Tags: belt, holes, losing weight, notches, weight
I dropped by the shoe shop yesterday. For the last three weeks I’ve been living in fear of my pants dropping around my ankles. It was time to upgrade the belt.
I have the guy just put more holes in it, so I can kind of watch the progress.
I mentioned to him that I wasn’t sure if my body was smaller, or the belt had stretched bigger. He asked how many new holes I wanted, I told him five.
He punched the holes, I paid him my dollar and put the belt back on. I cinched it up to the fourth new hole – probably a three inch difference. He asked if I wanted more holes – I decided that I enjoyed the process of coming in to celebrate my body changing.
He mentioned as I left that it’s hard to stretch a piece of leather three inches. Then he grinned at me – I appreciated that.
The scale still is locked at the 392 number, but I am starting to feel different. When I move it seems easier, like I’m lighter. It’s hard to explain, but I’m digging it.
Filed under: Thoughts and Observations | Tags: eating, like, losing, more, weight
Talking with a friend:
“I think it comes down to the fact I like eating more than losing weight”.
Houston, we have a problem.
Filed under: Inspiration, Thoughts and Observations | Tags: feeling thin, losing, weight
How do I describe it? I just feel smaller. Nobody can see it, but I’m sure that will come too.
Filed under: Thoughts and Observations | Tags: diet, food, lose, losing weight, measuring, weight
Christine posted this as her Facebook status:
“the vet told me that my Pug needs to lose 12 pounds; she weighed in at nearly 38 pounds. no wonder I can barely lift her anymore. let the food measuring begin…”
That’s an interesting way to look at what I’m doing, isn’t it? Food measuring…
I’ve been giving yesterday’s post a lot of thought. I’m really tempted to delete it, but I’ll leave it. Maybe there’s others out there that can relate. I hope I’m not the only one…
My thinking as I drove home and back to work this morning revolved around this basic concept – it’s in my mind, it’s in my head, why do I think I can’t control this?
It occurred to me that maybe I’ve given my body too much control over my mind for too long, and my mind actually thinks my body is the boss of it! Maybe by drinking the shakes, by overcoming those setbacks that I do have, maybe I’m strengthening the mind and subjecting the body back to my will.
This brought up another thought – I’ve learned that faith and fear cannot reside in the same mind. When I learned that it was in a spiritual context, but I think it has universal application.
I sit here now, at the same desk, same keyboard, but with faith that I can do this, I feel so different. I can only describe it as personal power. I can write about the fear I was feeling yesterday, but the actual feeling is far from me. I have faith. Fear is gone.
Yesterday I had fear. Faith was nowhere to be seen.
So faith it is. I’ll picture it in my mind until my heart can feel it, then move forward with faith that my talent and initiative will find a way to make this happen. The circumstances that surround me will move together for my good. Today I can feel it…
…stepping forward into the light…
Filed under: Humor, isagenix | Tags: isagenix, losing, not recommended, recipe, shake, unofficial, weight, weight loss
Follow this recipe carefully:
1 peeled banana
2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter
1.5 cups vitamin D milk
2 cups vanilla bean ice cream
0 scoops Isagenix shake mix
Delicious!
Filed under: Nutrition | Tags: express, healthy, losing, lunch, panda, vegetables, weight, weight loss
I’m becoming really sensitive to the color brown. Have I talked about this before? Go to Wendy’s and look at the color of the stuff they give you on the tray. Brown. Some golden brown, some bunny (as in the bun on the sandwich) brown, some deep rich brown like the patty of mystery meat, some that chocolate brown of the frosty…
Just about anywhere you go they serve you brown. Deep fried brown.
Panda Express has been like that for me. I’ve been eating one “good” entree and Orange Chicken or Beijing Beef. I open the box and it’s brown. Brown chicken, brown beef. Delicious, but brown.
Then today they put up a new sign at the Panda Express I go to. First it announced instead of rice or chow mien I could have vegetables, and then there were six entrees listed that are under 250 calories each.
So I went for it. Vegetables, broccoli beef, mushroom chicken. I got back to my office and opened the box and it was in technicolor baby!
I mean it was a veritable feast for the eyes.
I did learn that you have to eat it fast, the vegetables don’t hold the heat as long as the brown. Wonder if there’s physics behind that somewhere… the color brown holds heat longer… I’ll do some research.
Or not.
So I’m feeling better now. A box full of vegetables for lunch is going to be much better for me, my psyche, and my weight loss goals.
I thought you should know.
Filed under: Family Relations, Weighing In | Tags: biggest, eat whatever the hell I want, expectations, fight, fighting, loser, losing, melt down, regret, too much sugar, tv show, weight, weight loss, wife
I watch the Biggest Loser. I kind of live what I hope to accomplish in advance by watching them… did that make sense? Everything I see them do is what I picture in my future. And when they have breakthroughs about their self-worth I realize how much I’ve suffered in that regard too, feelings of being ashamed of what I am getting in the way of me living life with joy and faith…
And I cry. Yep. Right there in front of the laptop (I watch on Hulu) I just let the tears run down my face. As they realize they are great it reaffirms it to my soul too. I am great. Sometimes I forget.
But the show has a downside. They lose HUGE numbers every week. So I get it in my head that I’m going to lose double digits every week.
So I get on the scale on Saturday and I’ve lost 4-5 more pounds. I’m devastated. So overall that’s 13 pounds in two weeks. Not bad. Actually kind of great. But that’s not how my brain saw it.
So Sunday I find myself facing fish sandwiches, pizza, a bag of candy, and more pop. I know I’m not supposed to, but for some reason I just can’t seem to shake this craving. I mean CRAVE. I eat it, I feel sick. The sugar in my system is draining my energy, I feel sluggish and heavy. And I don’t care. I want more…
Now this was kind of triggered by a pretty major emotional hit, my wife and I certainly not agreeing on a particular topic that is at the foundation of our lives. So I grab my camera, take off to find photos, and end up stopping at every convenience store I see for the next five hours…
I know, I’m not happy about it either.
Then yesterday, the machine in the break room is calling my name like some beautiful voluptuous siren. Pop tarts yesterday morning, cookies in the afternoon, then pie at home for family night refreshments last night.
So I’m thinking all of this through on the way to work today. Thinking about it while I work. How can the wheels just come off like that?
Here’s my working theory. Four pounds. I had big expectations, I came up way short, I voted myself off of the ranch. Subconsciously I think if I can’t be a hero why even try. So my mind releases all of the brakes that hold me back from what I know I don’t want, and I run into the mine field of Wendy’s ready to do myself some seriously great tasting harm.
It didn’t taste that great. I didn’t get much out of it in the way of enjoyment. Just the punishment of it all.
Man that sounds warped.
But I’m still going to the gym.
Still replacing two meals a day with shakes.
Still taking supplements.
Still feeling much better everyday.
Gotta keep those expectations in check…