Doug Losing Weight

My thinking continues along the line of fear vs. faith, and my body vs. my mind.

I spent 12 years in school, barely graduated (that’s a story for another time for sure!) and went into the world.  I had spent 12 years teaching my brain to get into the mode of learning.  Every morning, sit in the desk, consume knowledge in some fashion – learn part of it.

Then I got a job, went on a mission for my church, came back and became a truck driver.  One day I was sitting in my truck waiting to be loaded and it hit me.  I really really wanted to learn again.

Fast forward to 7 months later and I’m sitting on my first day at the University of Utah in a Chemistry class with 100 or so classmates… excited to learn.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I was out of shape in the learning department.  I had let my mind “coast” for 7 years – not being in a formal learning environment that whole time.  (I have to say that I’ve always loved learning, and did not spend that 7 years simply reading comic books and watching Brady Bunch reruns).  It took a few weeks to come up to speed on the learning, the new work load, the rigors of full-time college.

My brain had just coasted.  I needed to teach it the good habits again.

Now I think about my body.  For the first 25 – 30 years of my life I ate, I played, I slept enough or more, I had a rhythm of exercise and activity.  Then I learned how to express my creativity through a computer.

My body just started coasting.  Now it’s 17 years later and I’m trying to whip my body into shape, get it used to the rigors of losing weight.  A decade longer than my brain had to slump into it’s ways earlier in life.  No wonder this is hard!

So when I see the cookies, I’m going to try picturing the battle between my body and my brain – realize that my body has habits that are so ingrained in me that I just feel instead of think it through.

I’m going to start thinking it through so it becomes a conscious decision again.

That’s why a program.  That’s why I spend the money to drink the shakes and stop eating the bad stuff.  I’m retraining my body.  I have to have that discipline in my life for a while as I teach my body the good habits it once knew.  When I’ve learned, I’ll take off the training wheels and I’ll be fine.  If I slip, I know where to get more shake mix.

Sorry for all the drama yesterday – sorta.  I think we need to be honest with each other on how this really feels.

I’m not sure who’s out there reading this – I hope it helps you.  Taking the time to sit down and try to explain to you, to have to think it through enough that I feel I’m communicating what I’m going through – well…

I appreciate you listening.  It’s really helped.  🙂